November 8, 2018

Come for the Savasana where you can Just Be.  

So many times students tell me Yoga saved my life. People start practicing yoga for so many different reasons. One student told me her story about how she found yoga. She says, I went to a few classes in Dillon, Colorado when I lived there in 2007-2009. I mostly took notice of the beautiful scenery outside the big picture window of the recreation center.  Colorado is so beautiful and I enjoyed seeing the mountains and the trees while practicing yoga. I didn't know the names of the yoga poses so I had to watch and follow the teacher. I attended a buddhist church, studied and read a lot about mindfulness and the eastern religions, and meditated at home.  When the yoga teacher cued seated meditation, I closed my eyes and meditated, but my meditation practice was separate from my yoga practice.

When I moved to Cleveland, Ohio in 2009, I joined the YMCA on the West side. My husband & I lived in Tremont, we had just brought our daughter home from Ethiopia, I was pregnant and in a marriage I knew I couldn’t stay in. This time I was practicing yoga to connect to my body and take care of the baby growing inside my belly. I did gentle yoga postures, took long slow deep breaths in a non-heated room, and didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to twist or back bend while pregnant. Luckily my son was fine.

Soon after my son was born, I filed for a divorce and found out very quickly how gut wrenching the process was going to be. I had two babies and my son had colic, meaning he cried all of the time for no reason. My husband refused to leave the home or give me any furnishings.  Once I got the court order, the kids and I moved to an apartment in the Coventry neighborhood. I joined Lifetime Fitness Beachwood in late 2010.  I knew they had a yoga studio but I went to Lifetime mostly so I could put the kids in the child center, take a shower and have a few quiet moments to myself.  I would sometimes take a work out class, like kick boxing or zumba, the teacher would page me from the podium that one of my kids needed a diaper change or that my son wouldn't stop crying.  I didn't do yoga that often because someone from the child center would have to come to the studio and notify the teacher and the teacher would have to tap me on the shoulder to leave.  I would have to gather up my stuff and leave during class and I felt like a disruption.

When my son was close to a year old , the constant crying stopped. I "Found Myself" in an entire yoga class in 2011. One of my first teachers, Halley, some of you may know her, told a story in class one day, that she had heard from one of her teachers, a story about a grieving woman who had lost her mother and came to yoga to lie down in savasana because it was the one place she felt like she could go and Just Be. I needed a place like that. I had two babies 11 months apart.  Most of my family and close friends lived out of state.  My husband was trying to convince the courts I was an unfit mother. I feared losing my kids, I was being evaluated by the courts, attorneys, & psychiatrists. I felt like everyone around me was judging me. My attorney told me I needed to figure out a career to show the courts that I was capable of taking care of myself and my kids. I thought sure I'll just put that on my to do list some where in the middle of all that I am doing right now.  My mind was everywhere.  I was under an extreme amount of stress.  I was a mess.  I had lost so much weight, even though I had gained 60 pounds during my pregnancy. I remember one day in my apartment, I was with the kids, lying on the couch while they played on the floor in the play room, all of a sudden. I couldn’t feel my body, everything went numb, the room was fuzzy, I may have even passed out for a brief moment. I “woke up" and the kids were happily playing and I remember thinking to myself, I almost died or went crazy or something, I really am going to lose my kids. Another time I was pushing the double stroller through the shaker lakes neighborhood, my body just gave out, it was like I couldn't move or go any further.  I sat down, hung on to the stroller and took some deep breaths and I was fine.  The mind and body can do crazy things when you are under extreme stress.  In yoga class I got out of savasana and child's pose and started practicing the other yoga asanas in a hot room and connecting the movements to Ujai breath.  I started to notice this moving meditation made me strong physically and mentally.  My body was toned and my mind was clear. I felt good about myself. I have never really liked working out, but this was different.  It wasn't like running or going to a work out class. It was something I couldn't describe.  It was magical.  The divorce process ended, I was divorced.  I got to be with my kids most of the time.  I fell in love with the practice of Yoga and how it made me feel.  I decided I wanted to deepen my practice in 2012 by going through teacher training. I graduated in 2013 from the program and began teaching. I didn't know if I would teach.  I just knew I wanted to share my passion with people and I wanted everyone in the world to feel like they had a place to Just Be.

Today I teach yoga and shoot for the moon of practicing 7 days a week and land among the stars of practicing 4 or 5 days.  I practice Yoga as a way of life striving to connect my spirit, all the light all the good, with my mind and body knowing that I am human and that the highest form of yoga is gratitude. I am thankful for it all.  Without my experiences I wouldn't be the person I am today.